Are you someone who walks into a crowded room and has never felt more lonely? Or perhaps you wake up each morning hoping for a connection with someone else but have no idea where to find that connection. Maybe you have recently found yourself at the end of a long-term relationship, or you have lost someone dear to you.

Your relationships are going to change throughout your lifetime. Some people will only be in your life for a short season. You will lose some relationships to death and others to the passage of time. At times, the ending will be expected, and you can prepare for the loss. Other times, you may be ghosted. Left hanging, uncertain of what even happened.

The feeling that you are abandoned can also happen when you are going through depression or anxiety and have no idea how to reach out to others. You want to tell them what you are going through, but you are deeply uncertain how. Going through a mental health crisis can feel isolating.

You are not the first person to feel lonely. You are not the first to feel abandoned. Here are some of the situations of loneliness in the Bible and what God has promised in such times.

“It’s lonely at the top.”

No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. – Joshua 1:5-6, NIV

Being a leader can be a lonely position. The buck stops with you and making the right decision can be overwhelming. Whether you are finding yourself in this position at a job, in school or church, or just as a parent, there can be a lot of loneliness.

It takes strength, courage, and humility to be a good leader. You do not have to do this alone. Look to the community around you to lean on, even as you lead. You don’t need to isolate yourself.

When you are lonely in bleak circumstances

For many years you were patient with them. By your Spirit, you warned them through your prophets. Yet they paid no attention, so you gave them into the hands of the neighboring peoples. But in your great mercy, you did not put an end to them or abandon them, for you are a gracious and merciful God.

Now, therefore, our God, the great God, mighty and awesome, who keeps his covenant of love, do not let all this hardship seem trifling in your eyes – the hardship that has come on us, on our kings and leaders, on our priests and prophets, on our ancestors and all your people, from the days of the kings of Assyria until today. – Nehemiah 9:30-32, NIV

Throughout the Old Testament, the Israelites have a pattern of walking with God and then living in horrible sin and oppression. Yet God shows mercy over and over to them. There is nothing you can do that will cause God to abandon you. His compassion is a theme that follows repentance.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our bodies, the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our bodies. – 2 Corinthians 4:8-10, NIV

There are no promises in the Bible that your life will be free from trouble. Instead, there are promises of support and hope through trouble. Even in the midst of persecution, God will not abandon you. Nor will you be abandoned by those who love Him. Whatever hardships and heartbreaks happen in your life you have a God who loves you no matter what.

The Good Shepherd

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4, NIV

This Psalm echoes comfort to the lost and lonely throughout the ages. While shepherds are not a part of modern American society, you can still appreciate the concept. God is compared to a shepherd because He will go to any length, any dark corner, any lonely valley of your life to show His love to you.

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. – Isaiah 40:11, NIV

The image of a shepherd is one of tenderness, particularly with the small and helpless. When you are feeling abandoned by people you need the gentleness of a good shepherd.

As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice. – Ezekiel 34:12,16, NIV

Loneliness can make you feel lost. When you feel lost you want to know that someone will be looking for you. God demonstrates that He seeks out the lost to care for them. God knows where you are, and He will care for your lonely heart.

The Lord their God will save his people on that day as a shepherd saves his flock. They will sparkle in his land like jewels in a crown. – Zechariah 9:16, NIV

The mixed metaphors of the prophet Zechariah may seem confusing. Once the sheep are saved, they sparkle like jewels! Regardless of the poetic language, the point remains the same. You are beautiful to God. You are valuable to him, which is why he seeks you out.

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me – just as the Father knows me and I know the Father – and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not in this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.

The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life – only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have the authority to lay it down and the authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” – John 10:14-18, NIV

Jesus is the ultimate fulfillment of all the Old Testament prophecies about shepherds. His life, his death, and his resurrection are proof of his love for his sheep. When you follow Jesus, you will be following one who will never abandon you and will seek you out in your loneliness to comfort and care for you.

The Good Shepherd is an image to carry in your mind through the lonely seasons. Hold fast to the truth that He will not abandon you and knows where you are even when you are feeling the most lost and lonely.

Work with a counselor when you are lonely

If you have struggled with feeling neglected or abandoned, reaching out to a counselor can be a good start to building new relationships. Your counselor can provide talk therapy to work through your feelings about past relationships. Call our offices today to contact a counselor.

Photos:
“Standing on the Rock”, Courtesy of Eric Ward, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Reading Proverbs”, Courtesy of Joel Muniz, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Sitting by the Water”, Courtesy of Ezra Jeffrey-Comeau, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Open Bible”, Courtesy of Aaron Burden, Unsplash.com, CC0 License