It’s Complicated: Bible Verses About Relationships

Take a moment and think about one of your fondest memories. Done? More likely than not, the memories that you cherish have a special person attached to them. It may be a meal you shared with them, a silly joke that became your thing as a couple, a time when someone showed an uncommon kindness toward you, or when you shared a piece of good news with those you love.

While other cherished memories you have may not involve people directly, other people indeed figure quite a lot in our lives, and this applies to both the cherished moments as well as the “I-wish-that-had-never-happened” moments.

At heart, human beings are relational creatures, because made in the image of the God who created us in his image is eternally in relationship – Father, Son, and Spirit. Relationships figure so much in our lives because that’s who we are, and that’s what we’re intended to be.

Bible Verses About Relationships

Built for relationships, but it’s complicated

Relationships are complicated things because they can bring the deepest of joys, and the most excruciating, heart-wrenching sorrows. As Genesis 1:27 tells us, human beings are made in God’s image, and that includes our capacity to form relationships. But a few chapters later in Genesis 3, humans turn their back on God and turn on each other.

The blame game, a staple in many dysfunctional relationships, makes its debut here when Adam blames God and his wife for his disobedience, saying “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit of the tree, and I ate.” It goes on: “Then the Lord God said to the woman, ‘What is this that you have done?’ The woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate.’” (Genesis 3:12-13).

In this tragic situation, no one wants to take responsibility for themselves, choosing to shift the blame onto others. The relationships between God and people, and between human beings have been complicated ever since. Our relationships with others bring us joy because we were built for relationships, like a glove being slipped onto a hand.

However, relationships are also painful because the people in them are imperfect beings, often bringing mixed motives, confused emotions, and inconsistencies to those relationships. Far from being a cynical view of the world, acknowledging these things prepares us to understand why relationships are both glorious and painful, fulfilling but sometimes also disappointing.

Different types of relationships

When it comes to Bible verses about relationships, the Bible talks about many types of relationships – between spouses, between friends, between family members such as parents and their children, between neighbors and strangers, between enemies, and between rulers and subjects, to name a few. What we find as we read the Bible is that all of them have that same “it’s complicated” vibe.

When there is mutual respect and concern for the other, relationships tend to thrive. “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on Aaron’s beard, down upon the collar of his robes” (Psalm 133:1-2). We see the goodness and fullness of relationships in Jesus calling us his friends, saying, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13), and Jesus loved us enough to be willing to lay it all down on the line for us.

When spouses are enthralled with one another and delight in selflessly giving of themselves to each other, beauty such as this emerges: “Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices” (Song of Solomon 4:10).

The woman echoes this, saying, “My beloved is dark and dazzling, better than ten thousand others…His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend” (Song of Solomon 5:10,16). There is such beauty in relationships when they are marked with warmth, love, and respect.

The flip side of that is that when people only look out for themselves and live without regard for others or God, trouble ensues. “Rise up, O judge of the earth; repay to the proud what they deserve! O Lord, how long shall the wicked exult? They pour out their arrogant words; all the evildoers boast. They crush your people, O Lord, and afflict your heritage. They kill the widow and the sojourner, and murder the fatherless; and they say, ‘The Lord does not see; the God of Jacob does not perceive’” (Psalms 94:2-7). Something has gone terribly wrong in our relationships when those who are vulnerable are the very ones being targeted.

Strife between family members can also destroy relationships. The infamous story of Cain and Abel comes to mind – “One day Cain suggested to his brother, ‘Let’s go out into the fields. And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him. Afterward, the Lord asked Cain, ‘Where is your bother? Where is Abel?’ ‘I don’t know,’ Cain responded. ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’” (Genesis 4:8-9).

The story is heartbreaking because out of his jealousy and anger, Cain took the drastic and irreversible action of killing his brother. Anger can lead people into dark places if they yield to it. We can say and do things in anger that we regret long afterward. In Cain’s situation though, he sadly had few regrets. This is vastly different from “brothers living in unity.”

Instead of honoring the marriage of one of his chief officers, King David committed adultery with that officer’s wife and then conspired to have the man murdered when he couldn’t cover up what he’d done (2 Samuel 11). David’s officer, Uriah, trusted his king; David abused that trust and his power, taking advantage of Uriah’s wife and then attempting to cover up what he’d done.

The greatest commandments

The Bible gives us a complex picture of human relationships, from the good to the bad to the ugly. It doesn’t sugarcoat it when relationships go wrong, and it exults when things go right. Good relationships bring about our flourishing and wellbeing. It’s a blessing when our relationships are characterized with respect, goodwill, and love.

While we remain in this world and on the way, our relationships will be marked by both the good and the unpleasant. In any one relationship, one day may be marked with good things, while on another day hardship may come your way and interrupt your good times.

This is brought together by what are termed the “the greatest commandments” – “Love the Lord with all your mind, heart, soul and strength…and love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the prophets depend on these two commands” (Matthew 22:37-40). All things being equal, the health of our relationships all comes down to love. For relationships to flourish, love needs to be present.

When love is absent, dysfunction becomes the norm as our selfish impulses take precedence. Saying it this way seems a little simplistic, and it is to an extent. Relational dysfunction can stem from other things such as mental and other health challenges, and so it doesn’t always come down to “All you need is love.” But it is true to say that in most cases, more love to God and love of our neighbors will go a long way.

The presence of our sinful hearts in any of our relationships does not mean that our relationships are doomed to be dysfunctional. By pouring out his Spirit upon believers, God provides believers with a potent tool to address the areas of sin in their life that make relationships less than ideal.

Christian Counseling for Relationship Issues

Therapists and other mental health professionals can be another resource to help us understand how our hearts and minds work and to help us learn to relate well with others in our families, neighborhoods, workplaces, etc. We can learn to discern what brings helps our relationships to flourish versus what undermines harmony and unity. We can learn more of those practices, habits, and behaviors that bring out the most in our relationships.

If you’re finding yourself struggling with your relationships and looking for support beyond these Bible verses about relationships, you don’t have to struggle alone. We invite you to browse our counselor directory and contact us today to begin your counseling journey. Good relationships go a long way towards enhancing our overall well-being, so take steps today to begin addressing any challenges you may have in your relationships.