Life After Baby Comes: Self-Acceptance and Your Postpartum Body

Change isn’t always easy to navigate without some friction and difficulty. Even when that change is good, it can take time to realize that you can stop tensing up and relax. The birth of a baby is a cause for much joy, and in equal measure, it means that things in your life will change drastically, postpartum. Your sleep, how your brain works, and your priorities all shift, and your postpartum body will also change.

Being pregnant is beautiful; it’s growing a whole human being inside one’s body, and this process is amazing. However, many women find themselves struggling to come to terms with the physical changes pregnancy brings, and that includes discomfort, morning sickness, losing or gaining appetite, and feeling like their bodies are changing constantly. After childbirth, the struggle may take on a new form.

You and Your Postpartum Body

One of the reasons the postpartum period can be challenging is that it can be a period of disappointed expectations. Sometimes during pregnancy, a woman might encourage herself by saying that she’ll feel like herself again, and her body will be what it once was after the baby comes. This expectation doesn’t always align with reality, as it can take time for the body to heal and for her to be able to pick up or return to certain routines.

The changes that occur during pregnancy and in the process of childbirth are significant. Some are temporary, while others are more or less permanent. Some long-term changes include stretch marks, loosened abdominal muscles, weakened pelvic floor muscles, changes in the menstrual cycle, and scarring from procedures such as a cesarean section or an episiotomy.

Other changes may be short-term, and these include weight retention, hormonal changes and fluctuations that affect mood and energy levels, and swollen ankles and feet. Each woman’s body is unique, and the changes she experiences won’t necessarily be the same as other women.

Accepting Your Postpartum Body

Each woman’s journey with her body will be different as she undergoes the various changes pregnancy brings about. Some women are comfortable with the changes, accepting them as part of the norm, while others may struggle to come to terms with them. Not only is one’s self-perception part of the equation, but the reactions and responses of loved ones like one’s spouse or relatives can also impact how things unfold.

It can be challenging to accept your postpartum body, particularly when it doesn’t match your expectations. While it’s challenging, it can also be an empowering journey to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You can nurture this self-acceptance in several ways.

Give yourself room and time to heal Your body has been through an intense, life-altering ordeal. Recovering from childbirth will take time, so try to be patient with yourself and the healing process. As you do this, keep your focus trained on function over form. Instead of focusing on your body’s appearance, choose to celebrate its capabilities and daily functioning.

Identify and challenge negative self-talk There may be a running dialogue in your head about your body. This dialogue may be denigrating what your body looks like or particular areas of weakness. Become aware of this inner critic; pivot to focus on your body’s strengths and accomplishments (you just birthed a human being!); reframe and replace negative thoughts and criticism with kindness and encouragement.

Practice self–care Your body serves you in incredible ways, and it’s important to have a healthy relationship with it. Take care of yourself. This includes eating a healthy and balanced diet, staying hydrated, resting and taking breaks where needed, and taking the time to do the things you love. It’s okay to take a break from the baby to go for a walk or run, read a book, or take a nap.

Some mothers, whether it’s their first time or not, can feel pangs of guilt about wanting to take a break from their child. It’s important to remember that rest gives you a greater capacity to be present when you are with your child.

Practice gratitude Take a moment and consider the miracle that just happened. Perhaps you’ve been praying for a child for years. You can express gratitude for that, but also for your body’s resilience, strength, and ability to nourish and take care of your baby. You can journal what you’re grateful for or offer it as thanksgiving in prayer to the Lord.

Seek healthy community The people that you surround yourself with make a difference in your journey. You can seek community with those who are accepting of themselves and others. Such a community will offer challenges and support that nurture you and empower you on the journey.

Next Steps: Christian Counseling for Women in California

You can talk to a doctor about any health issues or concerns you may have. You can also consult with a therapist or counselor in California to address other issues, such as depression, anxiety, or body image concerns that you may have. Your counselor in California will support you and help you along the journey to accept and appreciate your postpartum body.