Raising Grace: Support for Parenting Teens

Modern society’s climate is distinctly different from when today’s generation of parents were adolescents themselves. Today’s teens face issues that many of us as parents and caregivers didn’t encounter in our youth and childhood. As the nurturing adult presence in their lives, we sometimes feel inadequate for the task of parenting teens amidst life’s unfurling wave of changes.

One thing that remains true, however, is that all teens need shared family time, structure, a system for building solutions, healthy social networks, and support. Though we don’t always know how to meet our teens in the place of their greatest need, we know who does.

Despite the world’s turbulence, our Everlasting Father has remained the same throughout the ages. We always have access to the Lord’s Presence, and He welcomes us to come boldly. In times of need, His Holy Spirit will guide us in grace.

God Himself was Father to our teens, and to us, before any of us came to know what family was. His all-encompassing knowledge, presence, and power will walk us through the unusual landscape of contemporary issues associated with parenting teens.

Foundation for family

Teenagers confront a range of adolescent challenges to weather in terms of biological, mental, and socio-emotional upheaval. Though associated with typical development, we can support our sons and daughters with managing the cataclysmic changes happening in and around them. While parenting our teens, we too, are being raised.

God is a good Father whose wisdom navigates us as His beloved children through awkward and uncomfortable seasons. In surrender, He gives more grace for parenting teens, enabling us and our adolescent children to live, love, and learn together, despite challenges or social climate.

Shared time.

The world is waiting, beckoning with an allure that does not prioritize our children’s wellbeing. During intentional and impromptu conversations, we can engage our kids in exploring general and specific topics that affect them and their peers. Often, these moments hold the potential to spark honest heart-to-heart connections.

Our transparency garners credibility, helping our teens understand that despite generation gaps, we often have more similarities than differences. Though we may seem old, our wisdom and experience offer help and understanding with both immediate and eternal benefits.

Structure.

Despite the changing tide of time and temporal circumstances, teens need love and active guidance from parents invested in their well-being. Proactively, we can provide structure and flexibility, without waiting until crisis erupts before we explore our family’s changing dynamics. The Lord’s wisdom will illuminate the best balance between autonomy and parental oversight, as there is no universal sizing for what each of our teens may require.

Social networks.

As much as our teens may value their individualism, their peers’ influence weighs heavily, speaking to the powerful nature of community. When social networks are healthy, relationships can be affirming and life-giving. When it isn’t, our sons and daughters bend to pressures even though they may not actually want to succumb.

We can foster healthy peer relationships by facilitating connections with other youth and families through church, community, or extra-curricular involvement. While our teens may suddenly shift new interests and explore new friend groups, they are also likely to form deep and lasting friendships with those who welcome their unique quirks and qualities.

System for decisions.

Part of parenting teens includes supporting them as they navigate life challenges and develop a system for making wise and healthy choices. Our teens may seek to add shock value to certain decisions, but biology indicates that their brains are still developing into their mid-twenties. While we see the impact of impulsive action, they are growing the capacity to reason, solve problems, and build solutions.

This doesn’t exempt them from consequences, but we, as parents, facilitate the decision-making skills that will transition them into other phases of adulthood. We can model and engage our teens by developing an active relationship with Christ, seeking His wisdom, and using both spiritual and natural resources well.

Supportive next steps for parenting teens

Some days, it may seem that the child we once knew has been swapped for someone we barely recognize. Although adolescence presents parenting challenges, our response bears a significant impact on our teen children. Instead of becoming unraveled by frustration, we can choose to embrace this as a growing season that we intentionally fill with curiosity, communication, and connection.

God is neither intimidated nor alarmed by our challenges. Find support through Laguna Christian Counseling. Schedule an appointement with a counselor at Laguna Christian Counseling to gather the grace needed as you and your teens embrace the adventures of adolescence.