Head, Heart, and Hands: Navigating Communication and Conflict

Although God created us for fellowship, there will be times when we face an impasse in our communication, sometimes making us reconsider the value of our investment in relationships. Before we dismiss those that God has given us, we must invite the Holy Spirit to guide us concerning our assessment of any conflict.

The Holy Spirit will govern our thoughts, emotions, and actions with truth and love. As the Spirit of Truth, He illuminates problem areas. He also offers scriptural solutions that will bless us and others. From time to time, we may experience offense, discord, or discomfort in the relationships where we invest time, energy, and attention, but how we respond is what’s most important.

Corral the troops.

When we encounter interpersonal conflict, the enemy viciously accuses our brothers and sisters, blinding us with an assault. Instead of approaching them with an open hand and heart, we sometimes react with closed palms, forming a fist. We activate a default response to fight one another and defend ourselves or retreat without communication.

Instead of positioning ourselves for battle against one another, we must remember that we have one enemy. When we align with each other, against the spirit of discord, we corral a unified spiritual army that reinforces the defeat of our adversary.

Curiosity.

While conflict is part of life, we don’t have to govern our relationships or our differences with contention. It is important to navigate these moments with curiosity. What might the Holy Spirit want us to notice, interpret, and do? There’s always a lesson to learn, and sometimes, He intends to teach us through creative ways.

Cultivating a mindset that’s open to receiving insight and instruction will help to safeguard our hearts with God’s peace. This enables us to embrace others with empathy and regard them with compassion.

Compassion.

It is through conversation and communication that we gather more of the right information that is effective in clearing misunderstandings. When we lead with compassion, we put love into action.

We trust God to take care of us amidst the risks and rewards that authenticity, vulnerability, and transparency can bring. Instead of prioritizing our pride, we prefer others by choosing to listen and seeking to understand before defending or justifying our actions.

In these moments, our body language can speak louder than our words. Our facial expressions, gestures, and posture can facilitate a more productive conversation. When we open our stance and our hands, we convey the willingness to hear and be present with those we love, even if the conversation is uncomfortable.

You know this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. – James 1:19, NASB

Next steps for overcoming conflict

Conflict occurs as part of life, though we don’t always know or practice the most effective ways in navigating it. Some run from it while others hunt for it. Either way, we can gain balanced techniques and tools that will help us to corral our spiritual army, demonstrate curiosity, and convey compassion as we engage one another.

It is possible to learn and practice the communication skills that build connections, teaching us how to engage one another respectfully, despite our challenges. Take time to sort through the resources on this site, and seek a counselor for support by opening your heart and hands to enhance communication and connection.